bakerstreet

1. I woke up next to a box of cheese bread. It was super romantic.

2. I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.

3. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT

That’s probably true.

You know your caps lock is on? Double table the up arrow.

Edited 2017-12-09 01:42 (UTC)

Got your attention didn't I? Tony, why are so many things on fire?

Like three things. That’s almost nothing.

You don't get to count a city block as one thing.

ONE city block. One thing.

Listen, I’m taking care of it.

I am planning to take care of it.

Which block?

The one that all the smoke's coming from.

[And despite smartass commentary, he also sends coordinates.]

You should think about moving the tower to the middle of a desert.
Taiga? Tundra??

Can’t. It would take too long to get pizza delivered.

And you’d miss me too much.

Woah. You weren’t kidding. I hate to see the other two things.

[Someone really needs to put a leash on him. And his drunken fire bug nature evidently.]

Put a pizza joint on the first floor. And a donut shop.

The only way I'll know is if you go away.

You're going to see the other two because you need to put them out before I'm getting blamed for it again.

[Bruce would try, but he's pretty sure that five minutes later he'd be wearing the leash and wondering what the hell happened.

Also more coordinates incoming.]

Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. And I’d miss YOU too much.

Even with a donut shop on the first floor.

[Bruce. Don’t mention wearing a leash around Tony, verbally, ever. Because that will be your next birthday or Christmas gift.]

Two down. You know, I don’t want a donut shop on the first floor. They’d be my employees and the coffee wouldn’t be so authentic.

Also, I’m not supposed to have too much processed sugar.

One sec. Found the problem. DO NOT TELL CAP ABOUT THIS.

You only say that because you don't have enough people around you who understand what you're saying.

Add an In N Out. What else do you need?

[Not saying it. He knows what happens when he gives Tony ideas and it they really need to stop having to rescue small countries.]

Let me guess: he said don't do it, you did it, things caught on fire.

Yes. Yes we need an In and Out burger in the new Tower.

I thought you weren’t a therapist. You keep saying you’re not a therapist.

If that’s the case, how do you know me so well?

Soulmates. Going with that.

Shit—

[Ten very long minutes pass.]

So you’re welcome. No more fires. No one blamed you either. Victory. Burgers and deep, meaningful conversations about fractals to celebrate?

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 02:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 03:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 03:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 03:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 03:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 04:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 04:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 04:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 04:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 05:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 05:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 05:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 05:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 11:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 18:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 18:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 18:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 19:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 19:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 19:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 20:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 20:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 20:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 20:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 20:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-09 22:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-09 23:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-10 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-10 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-10 00:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-10 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-10 01:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-10 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-10 02:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-10 12:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-10 16:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-11 00:12 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-11 00:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-11 02:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-11 02:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

starkingenuity - 2017-12-11 12:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

hulkbusted - 2017-12-11 14:39 (UTC) - Expand

Your phone can take videos that long?

Why have you not captured more of my masterpieces?

Stark phone.

Has anyone introduced you to karaoke yet?

1. only 3 minutes of singing.

2. Cooking date w/ Italian food.

3. Wine drunk.

I can send you your missing six minutes if you want.

Whether I want depends on just how many people he sent it to. Do I dare ask why?

I think he didn't send it outside of SHIELD and Avengers? Don't know why he sent it or do you mean why would I send you the minutes? It seems like a shame for you to forget what none of us will be able to.

That's downright private by his standards. And the former -- I assumed the latter was because you, unlike certain others, are a reasonably functional adult.

Let me mentally prepare myself. I have vague memories of Aretha Franklin.

I'm assuming he did it for the same reason he does a lot of things: he thought it would be funny.

It was a medley in fact. Aretha, Donna Summer, and Natasha says Taylor Swift. I'll take her word for it.

And then he wonders why I don't like letting my guard down.

Well, if I can't find the courage to 'fess up to the fact that I unironically enjoy listening to Shake It Off, then I really have no business running a Fortune 500 company.
Bring on the evidence.

[It could be worse. He sends over 9 minutes of all singing, all dancing Pepper Potts. It seems likely Tony didn't start recording until she was at least a song in.]

You're allowed to be human. Encouraged. You're the closest thing to a normal person we're likely to find around here.

[Whether that's a comment on Pepper or the company they keep is up in the air.]

[Pepper's reply is delayed, by approximately the amount of nine minutes plus one unnecessary meeting, plus a trip to the coffee machine. It arrives with an image of the Picard Facepalm attached.]

Well, at least I can thank high school and glee club for teaching me to carry a tune.

And... thanks. Given the fact that I haven't had to re-heat my coffee for the last two years, it's nice to know that someone thinks I'm still normal.

Edited 2017-12-10 21:11 (UTC)

[Bruce is midway through proofreading a paper he's supposed to deliver at a conference next week when his phone alerts him and he takes a moment to chuckle at the picture.]

I probably shouldn't point out that I'm one of the least qualified men on this planet or several others to define normal. You're fine. You're better than fine. You aren't normal because you put up with all of us. I'm pretty sure that makes you the superhero around here.

[A superhero emoji is tacked in front of this reply.]

Still not wearing spandex. That phase died in the 80s, and let us have it remain there, safely on undigitized film.

Although on the topic of superheroes, I've been having a few ideas about work-life balance lately. Specifically, how your teammates are all terrible at implementing it. I'd be interested in getting your opinion on a few things.

Bruce Banner || MCU || OTA

3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

2

no subject

2.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject