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bakerstreet2017-12-08 04:08 pm
somekindofsock) wrote in bakerstreet2017-12-08 04:08 pm
Entry tags:
1: I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love you ... or because of the whole almost dying thing
2: You said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
3: But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins so win/win, right?
4: You said I can't embarrass you, the challenge has been set
5: You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
6: [bring your own text]
2: You said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
3: But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins so win/win, right?
4: You said I can't embarrass you, the challenge has been set
5: You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
6: [bring your own text]
1. She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
2. I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
3. I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
4. the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
5. (text him first!)
2. I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
3. I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
4. the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
5. (text him first!)
1. I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
2. Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
3. I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
4. Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept.
5. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safety when getting laid is on the line
2. Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
3. I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
4. Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept.
5. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safety when getting laid is on the line
1. I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy
2. Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
3. Drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
4. You came in, yelled “I am from the future!” and then puked all over the floor
5. I got fucked in a batmobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
2. Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
3. Drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
4. You came in, yelled “I am from the future!” and then puked all over the floor
5. I got fucked in a batmobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
A. he bruised my dick again but trooper that i am i just kept going
B. i think either stole or won a car last night. hey do u want a car
C. well that sure is a nice way of saying "i wish i hadnt fucked you"
D. sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. well. hell be my boyfriend soon. loooong story
E. [text him!]
B. i think either stole or won a car last night. hey do u want a car
C. well that sure is a nice way of saying "i wish i hadnt fucked you"
D. sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. well. hell be my boyfriend soon. loooong story
E. [text him!]
1) she slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks... i plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
2) you came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
3) she said i can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
4) getting on a bus with a beer pong table. i am proof we can make this campus fun.
5) so she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and i remembered i had one in my pocket. no idea where it came from.
6) text him!
2) you came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
3) she said i can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
4) getting on a bus with a beer pong table. i am proof we can make this campus fun.
5) so she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and i remembered i had one in my pocket. no idea where it came from.
6) text him!
Edited 2017-12-08 21:17 (UTC)
1. Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
2. he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
3. I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
4. TEXT HER
2. he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
3. I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
4. TEXT HER
1: okay, but 'i really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you'??? that's like the most formal booty call EVER
2: I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights.
3: By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
4: i woke up feeling shameful
5: he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
6: [bring your own text]
2: I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights.
3: By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
4: i woke up feeling shameful
5: he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
6: [bring your own text]
1: We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
2: Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
3: Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
4: I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
5: I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage?
6: [bring your own text]
2: Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
3: Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
4: I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
5: I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage?
6: [bring your own text]
» 1 | He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
» 2 | He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
» 3 | He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
» 4 | Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
» 5 | or text her!
» 2 | He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
» 3 | He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
» 4 | Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
» 5 | or text her!
1. I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon.
2. I'm still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry.
3. She's throwing knives. It scares me.
4. Text him.
1. We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two bottles of vodka we traded an extra sandwich for and a Brit in our bed.
2. Beer and sex in the dining area. There are worse ways to end a Wednesday night..
3. he came in wearing a clown mask. he's lucky he's not dead.
4. I’m giving drunk me full control over my body for the next few days. Don’t let me die.
2. Beer and sex in the dining area. There are worse ways to end a Wednesday night..
3. he came in wearing a clown mask. he's lucky he's not dead.
4. I’m giving drunk me full control over my body for the next few days. Don’t let me die.
1. Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
2. You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
3. Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukulele quite intensely.
4. He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
5. text him!
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
2. You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
3. Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukulele quite intensely.
4. He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
5. text him!
1. She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
2. He told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
3. He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
4. We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
5. Text him
2. He told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
3. He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
4. We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
5. Text him
1. He said a lot of nice things about me. It was really uncalled for.
2. Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
3. So you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
4. Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
5. Text him
2. Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
3. So you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
4. Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
5. Text him
1. You came in, yelled 'I am from the future' then puked all over the floor.
2. He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
3. He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting himself with an arrow.
4. She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set.
5. He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche.
2. He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
3. He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting himself with an arrow.
4. She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set.
5. He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche.
1. Why would you say that in a bathtub?
2. I knew how pissed you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
3. They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
4. A drunk and bleeding Peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
5. I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
2. I knew how pissed you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
3. They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
4. A drunk and bleeding Peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
5. I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Edited 2017-12-08 21:25 (UTC)
1) Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an American flag pole?
2) He said I can't embarrass him, the challenge has been set.
3) I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind your back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
4) We never leave a bad bitch behind. It's a party foul...we'll find you somehow.
5) {text him}
2) He said I can't embarrass him, the challenge has been set.
3) I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind your back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
4) We never leave a bad bitch behind. It's a party foul...we'll find you somehow.
5) {text him}
1. We played 2 very competitive games of exploding snap and then fucked our brains out... BEST! RELATIONSHIP!! EVER!!!
2. im so drunk that my cat is mothering me. aggressively
3. I just woke up to three voicemails from you! In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night??
4. Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation?
5. Hurry up!! Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces!!
2. im so drunk that my cat is mothering me. aggressively
3. I just woke up to three voicemails from you! In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night??
4. Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation?
5. Hurry up!! Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces!!
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