Literally ruining lives ([personal profile] memeboogeyman) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2022-05-26 07:06 pm

Weave flowers in my hair.

The Personal Hygiene Shipping Meme


Personal hygiene is just that - personal. By the time we've come to a point in our lives where we notice that the concept exists and we should be prudent about it, we can take care of ourselves. There are also many practical reasons why we don't involve other people in this process. We're not too keen on showing off parts to be cleaned that are private in most contexts, and there's definitely an ingrained aversion to showing so much soft, fleshy skin. Hot water or a sharp razor could spell dangerous with a capital D should they come into the hands of someone with a vendetta against you. No need to be extra vulnerable.

So, if you're involving another person in your cleansing routines, it must be someone you trust. Not only that, but it's most likely someone you're comfortable with and likely at least somewhat open to being intimate with. You may not be dropping all your clothing in front of them, but it's still you opening yourself up to touching and closeness unparalleled in more "usual" moments.

Established and burgeoning couples (or not-so-couples) can bond through this showing of care and good faith. Will you like being pampered and find the attention endearing? Or will things go terribly, terribly wrong?

...you never should have let them near that shaving cream.

  • Comment with your character and preferences.
  • Smut is not required. Mention if you want/don't want it.
  • Reply to others and use the RNG.


  1. Comfort: You've decided to pitch in a helping hand to get your partner to unwind, and warm water or suds may do the trick.
  2. Romantic: The sole purpose of this endeavor is to set a lovey-dovey mood. No shame here!
  3. It Started Out Platonic...: What a good pal you are, volunteering to give your friend a good scrub. Of course, you didn't count on the cute way she squirms as you scrub her back or how he blushes when you shampoo his scalp.
  4. No Choice: Currently, you're unable to clean yourself up. That means that you need assistance, and it might as well be the person you lov- tolerate the most.
  5. Open: You have trust issues. Actually, you have backlogs of trust issues. Still, you want to show the person you love that you're willing and trying to change for them, and what better way than letting down your walls and having the assist in your grooming?
  6. Shave: Whether it's your face, your legs, or...your other places you've decided to shave, there's a certain intimacy involved in letting your lover do it for you. Let's hope they won't leave you looking like you got into a battle with a book with the paper cuts to prove it.
  7. Reluctant: They want to get you clean. You don't want to show off your body at all. It's injured, it looks weird, what if they don't like it...
  8. Forced: You love them, you really do, but you won't kiss them if they continue to look like an unwashed hobo clown. You have to draw the line somewhere, and if they won't take action, you will.
  9. Beat Up: You've been trampled in a fight. Your partner isn't about to let you wallow around in your own mud and blood.
  10. Hair: Some find that there's nothing quite as soothing as getting their hair washed or brushed. Of course, those with more luxurious locks may find any hair care a burden, so the assistance is appreciated.
  11. Make Up: They think you're beautiful already. See how they'll paint you up when they get the chance.
  12. Unique: If you're not human, you probably have your own proceeders you have to do to keep all spiffied up. There are wings with stray feathers to pluck, horns on heads to polish, scales to shave down, all sorts of tasks! Introduce your ignorant (and most likely human) boyfriend or girlfriend to your world...and your pain.
  13. Accommodations: Those with disabilities or prosthetics may also have their own routines, and anyone who wants to be with them should learn how to pitch in.
  14. Sponge Bath: You don't have enough water to do this right or you just want to give them a nice rub and scrub with a gentle sponge or wash cloth.
  15. Wound Care: In order for wounds to heal, proper care must be taken. Bandages have to be changed and cuts cleaned out. It's certainly easier when you don't have to do it all by yourself.
  16. Together: You're both cleaning up, taking a bath, splish splash, in the same tub because there's no where else to go. This is the most likely smut option, even if, again, it starts off "platonic."
  17. Clothing: Don't forget that clean clothes are an important part of personal hygiene. Always make sure your partner has a nice, fresh outfit, even if it's to your taste and not theirs.
  18. I've Made a Terrible Mistake: Somehow, everything's now shit. This little experiment went haywire and you may be sporting anything from the worst hairdo of your life to a Columbian necktie.
  19. FREE SPACE
oldmanfive: please do not take (238 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-08 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, but I still think you should wear clothes to give me a haircut. Maybe wear one of my shirts instead?

[He suggests because there’s no way he is going to be able to sit still with her bare breasts in his face. If he’s seeing bare breasts in his face, he is fondling them. And well they will never get anything done at that rate.]

gravity_grrl: (gum)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-09 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
[She grins and gives him another kiss before hopping down off the bathroom counter.]

Okay okay, I'll put on one of your shirts.

[She says and exits the bathroom, a few moments later she returns in one of his older white tank tops.]

Better?

[She says with a smile, knowing full well that her nipples are visible through the thin cotton.]
oldmanfive: (24 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-10 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
[Her antics do help him feel anxious, so he can't fault her for being silly.

He lightly chuckles as he shakes his head. Clearly she wants him to abandon everything and just ravish her.]

At this rate, maybe I should just go and let Grace cut my hair. She'll be 100% less distracting.
gravity_grrl: (sweet)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-10 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
[Roxy laughs and gives him a little push to sit on the toilet in front of her.]

Hey I can't help it that I'm a total babe or that your old shirts look amazing on my tits.

[She reaches down and gives them a squeeze before grabbing a comb and starting to gently run it through his hair.]

C'mon, you can do this. You are like the master of control or whatever, you can contain your urges for like half an hour while I cut your hair.
oldmanfive: (06 | Season 3)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-11 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
[ Instinctively he captures her hand as she goes to comb his hair. ]

Don't pretend that you didn't pick that shirt on purpose because I have others that wouldn't show off your breasts so blatantly.

[ He gets up off the toilet and goes back into the room to get her a different shirt. One that is solid black t-shirt with an actual neckline, so that her cleavage is hanging out in his face. Satisfied that it will actually cover her, he walks back into the bathroom and holds the shirt out to her. ]

Put this on or I am going to the main house and ask Grace to cut my hair instead.

[ He says firmly, because no he will not sit on a toilet for half an hour with her nipples in his face. ]

Also I don't want to sit on the toilet lid for this, if it is going to take that long. We can cut my hair at the kitchen table. It will be easier to clean up and I can actually sit on a comfortable chair.
gravity_grrl: (small_smile)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-12 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[His expression is so stern and yet loveable that it makes Roxy laugh and she pulls off the thin shirt, tossing it on the towel rack as she takes the black t-shirt in her hands. She steps in close to him and kisses him softly.]

Yes Daddy.

[She teases and pulls on the black t-shirt and then grabs his hand and pulls him towards the kitchen.]

You're so sexy when you get dominant and demanding.
oldmanfive: please do not take (238 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-13 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
And you're such a damn tease.

[ He quips as she pulls him through the bedroom into the living room to the kitchen. May takes the opportunity to jump off the bed and follow them, weaving in between their legs while meowing.]

And you little Miss are being a pain in a butt.

[ He says to the cat before turning his attention back to his tease of a girlfriend. ]

Let me feed her, so she doesn't get under foot, while you're cutting my hair.

[ He tells Roxy as he presses a quick kiss to her lips, before bending down to pick up the cat and take her with him into the kitchen. ]
gravity_grrl: (kiss_cheek)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-13 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
You love it.

[She counters and nods when he mentions feeding May.]

Good idea, you feed the baby kitty girl and I'll get set up.

[It doesn't take long and by the time he's done feeding May she's all set up with scissors, combs, hair clips, and a makeshift hair cape made out of a plastic bag so he doesn't get hair stuck to his skin.]

Ready?
oldmanfive: (215 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-13 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ He makes May her food and fills her water dish. Once he's satisfied that she's occupied, he teleports to the bedroom to retrieve his cup of coffee. Then he ports back to the kitchen table and has a seat on the chair near her makeshift station. ]

Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be.

[ He says with a sigh as takes a sip of his coffee, before placing it on the table, so she can finish setting him up with the makeshift cape. ]
gravity_grrl: (sweet)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-13 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
[She grins and kisses his cheek as she wraps the fake cape around him.]

Don't look so worried! It's not like I'm using clippers, I promise you won't end up with any bald spots.

[She picks up a comb and begins to brush it through his hair a few times, pulling it this way and that, eyeing the way his hair falls naturally.]
oldmanfive: please do not take (239 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-13 08:52 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not worried about that. It's just my anxiety with having sharp objects near my head.

[ He says as he does his best to relax as he knows fidgeting could result in bad haircuts. He learned that lesson as a small child. He's fairly quiet as she combs his hair. He only really pauses her, when he wants a drink of his coffee. ]
gravity_grrl: (profile)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-14 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
[She can tell that he's trying to relax so she just concentrates on letting him do so as she combs his hair, brushing it aside one way to place a kiss on his left temple and then his right. She smiles and finally picks up the scissors and uses the comb to lift a section of his hair up where she does a couple of quick snips.
Her eyes flicker to his to see if he's doing okay and when she sees that he's doing okay she continues, making a few snips here and there on his ends. She isn't giving him a new haircut, just a trim, so all she has to do is take the shape that's there and shorten it.]
oldmanfive: (04 | Season 3)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-19 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ Once she starts clipping, he really has to force himself to stay loose, because he's natural instinct is to want to disarm. However he knows she's not trying to hurt him and he really does need to get use to someone other than Grace cutting his hair. It's not as if everyone in the world is out to get him, even if some times his paranoia tells him so.

As she trims him up, he only really pauses her so he can take another sip of his coffee. ]


How's it looking so far?
gravity_grrl: (sweet)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-19 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Well except for the huge bald spots.... [She says playfully and gives him a wink.]

But honestly, I think it's looking good. I'm trying to make everything look nice and neat and clean. How are you doing? Do you need a break?
oldmanfive: please do not take (253 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-20 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
Ha ha, very funny.

[He can't hold back the sarcasm, since he knows that eventually he'll start losing his hair when he's older.]

No, I'm alright. I just want another drink of my coffee.

[He replies, picking up his mug to take another sip. Before gesturing that he was ready for her to resume. May takes the opportunity to come over and jump into his lap to demand attention now that she's full.]

Okay, Miss May.

[He says with a small laugh.]
gravity_grrl: (up grin)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-20 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Roxy smiles and bends down to kiss the top of May's head.]

You can stay there but you gotta be still miss kitty, I bet you don't want a haircut do you? Although you sure would look cute with a lion cut....
oldmanfive: please do not take (254 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-20 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He can't help but smile as Roxy drops a kiss on top of May's head. It's a cute sight. May starts purring in his lap as he scratches under her chin. He takes the opportunity to press a kiss to Roxy's cheek as she lifts her head back up. ]

I'm ready to resume when you are.
gravity_grrl: (wine_smile)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-21 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, round two here we go.

[She says and goes back to trimming up his hair, checking the length everywhere and eventually she puts down the scissors and combs his hair into his usual style and then kisses his forehead.]

I think I'm done, take a look and let me know if you hate it.
oldmanfive: (152 | Season 2)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-21 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He sits quietly, while petting the purring cat in his lap. He smiles as she finally declares she's done. Playfully he rolls his eyes at her joke about if he hates her work. ]

I'm sure, it's fine. How do I look, May?

[ He asks as he shifts the cat up, so that she's facing him. May bops him on the nose with her paw and purrs at him. ]

Well your work is May approved.

[ He says with a chuckle as he gets up to go look in the mirror by the front door. ]

It looks good. Thanks babe.
gravity_grrl: (cutie)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-22 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I can take the sides up shorter if you want but I didn't want to cut too much off and have you hate it.

[She says, petting May while he goes to check out his hair.]
oldmanfive: (14 | Season 3)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-23 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
No, that's alright. This works.

[ He replies as he runs his hands over his hair, before teleporting back over to Roxy and dropping a kiss on her lips. Instinctively he presses his forehead against hers. ]

Thank you for putting up with my paranoia and psychosis, long enough to trim my hair.
gravity_grrl: (closeup)

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-23 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
[She smiles and him and nuzzles the tip of her nose against his.]

You're welcome, can I watch you shave and then maybe we can both take a shower together and get all the bits of hair off of us?
oldmanfive: (14 | Season 3)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-23 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The way she nuzzles the tip of her nose against his earns her a warm smile. Softly he presses a kiss to her lips and slowly nods. ]

...okay you can watch me shave.

[ he agrees because eventually he would like to be able to let her shave him without his anxiety psyching him out. Slowly he pulls back and takes her hand into his as he turns to walk back to the bathroom. May hops down from the chair to follow after them because clearly she wants to know what Mama and Papa are up too. ]
gravity_grrl: (profile)

eeeee love icon <3

[personal profile] gravity_grrl 2022-06-23 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Yaaaaaaaaay! [She exclaims and lets him lead her back into the bathroom where she hops back up onto the counter excitedly. It probably seems dumb to him but she finds so much joy in watching him do things like cooking or shaving or reading the newspaper at the kitchen table. It's that certain level of comfortable domesticity that she adores because it helps drive home the fact that she's found her future husband.]

Do you have a favorite type of shaving cream?
oldmanfive: (04 | Season 3)

[personal profile] oldmanfive 2022-06-24 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't necessarily find her excitement over such mundane things as dumb but it does feel weird sometimes. It's just basic grooming after all. He chuckles as she hops back onto the counter. Especially since May decides to hop up onto her lap and meow at them. ]

I don't have a favorite per se. I just use the sensitive skin type one for whatever brand I see in the store.

[ He replies as he opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out the shaving cream which is an Edge brand. May playfully tries to bat at the can before Five puts it down. ]

You got to behave little Miss.

[ He adds as he rubs the top of her head, while leaning in to press a kiss to Roxy's lips.]

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totally :)

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