No, he can't be patient. "I'll try me best," is what he says when he props himself up on his elbows looking just a little forlorn, but she knows him well enough to know that he's not the best at waiting, and her only saving grace is that he won't go around chewing all her shoes and ripping all her toilet roll off the holder. The tip of his tongue flicks over his bottom lip as he admires that smile and his gaze drops to where those buttons are popping open. She looks good, a little messy and frayed around the edges like that.

"Can I get a hint at least?" Or is she determined to keep this as a surprise? You know, he doesn't much like surprises. Usually it's 'Surprise, you're going back to hell' or 'Surprise, the world is ending (again)' and in both scenarios he has to actually get up out of bed.

"Can't you keep those on, love?" he suggests, oh so helpfully, not whining at all. If she can ride a unicycle blindfolded while keeping a rhinoceros levitating in the air, she can certainly manage fucking him whilst wearing heels.

Sitting up properly, he stretches his legs out behind him and lies down on his stomach, watching her too keenly to be able to pretend he's bored.

"Last time someone said that I ended up in the nick with no shoes 'nd blood running down half me face," he points out, wrinkling his nose. He got fucked alright, a simple wrong place wrong time incident turning into three charges of arson right quick, and it took the whole night to get himself unfucked, released from jail and find his way back.

Rolling over, he tears his gaze away from her briefly to start getting undressed himself, pants first and then his shirt, but he doesn't even make it to his shirt before he's already tilting his head back to watch her striptease upside down. He's got a half-decent view of her arse if the way he tilts his head and grins is anything to go by. Say what you want about everything else that always goes wrong between them - this is the best part when they get together.

Toys? She had him at toys. He lowers his arms back down to the bed and tries to push himself up, lifting one leg and the opposite side of his back off the bed long enough for him to roll over again, now lying on his stomach.

Fixation on her heels temporarily forgotten, hazel eyes search behind her for any signs of said toys. He's not actually sure what he's supposed to be looking for. Will they just be colorful things lying around in the open? Or something more discreet in a brown paper bag?

"Sure. You can try 'em out, wit' me." He has no idea what he's agreeing to but, as is typical of him, he's taking the plunge without knowing how deep the water is.

He'd have said even better but now his eyes are narrowing with a small level of suspicion. He's having flashbacks of that time she said it'd be funny to put a line of Deep Heat on his cock. She had failed to mention at the time that it would only be funny in hindsight.

"...wee bit." His 'adventurousness' is a big contributor towards what gets him in trouble every time, you'd think he would have learned something by now. He rolls back over again, getting his feet entangled in the sheets now as he finishes with taking his shirt off, eyes still flitting between the upside down bag and her upside down face.

He kicks at the sheets a few times to try and free his legs, grabbing and crinkling the paper bag before tipping it out onto the bed, unable to mask a surprised little noise.

"Hmm." You can never trust John to be mature and not attempt to play with these things like they're light sabres or maracas. Clearly the bigger one has his eyes lighting up but he'd probably enjoy the other one a lot more.

"What brought this on then?"