bakerstreet | what's your number

[Werewolf things didn't apply to humans, genius. If Stiles ever found out, he'd gloat. And then stand in front of a fan aimed at Derek.]

Think you could handle an ass beating by both of us?

[... That came out wrong.]

[Do you want him getting hard, Stiles? Hypothetically, of course. Because he doesn't... maybe. Shut up.]

Do you want to try rephrasing that?

[Because it definitely came out wrong, and not in a way Derek can just ignore.]

[He's not answering that question on the grounds that he might incriminate himself.]

Sure. You should limit it to just be because you can't handle two on one action.

[Nope. Not any better.]

[This conversation right now isn't really helping avoid that, really...]

Either that, or you're worried Scott and I will double team you instead.

[Why is he entertaining this conversation again?]

Not even a little. Scott's my tag team buddy all the way.

[This conversation had taken a turn at wtfville and was heading into that nebulous can't turn back zone. Stop, Stiles. Stop before something happened.]

Doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure I can both of you. If you want to do it one on one... I won't complain.

[At the video game... obviously... Because he's a werewolf. Reflexes. What did he just agree to again?]

In your dreams, Hale. You just think you'll have a better chance topping me, but let me tell you, I'm the master of games. I'll beat you so hard, you'll actually thank me for the privilege.

[Stiles Cocky Stilinski. Totally his legit middle name.]

That's pretty big talk, Stiles, but can you actually back it up? I doubt it. I always come out on top.

[Says the guy who, if they're still talking about games, would probably hold the controller wrong, honestly.]

[They might be talking about games. They might not be. Stiles' mind was sort of half in the gutter at all times. Blame his hormones.]

You know what? It's on, Derek. One way or another, I'm defeating that smug wolf ass.

[Derek is aware of this. The better question is why the hell is he encouraging this behavior right now. Which he's not, really... Really... Maybe not really?]

You know what you're getting into, right? Enhanced senses, reflexes... Just because Scott is gentle with you doesn't mean I will be too.

What makes you think he's gentle with me. There is no going easy with the Stilesmeister.

[Unless they weren't talking about video games. Then there was some going easy. No biting. Hard. No hard biting. Mostly. In some s-- they were not talking about this.]

He goes easy on you. But if you're giving me permission not to, I definitely have no problem putting you in your place, if you think your ego can handle it.

[If Stiles beats his ass too hard, biting might happen regardless of whether or not they're still talking about video games. He's not an alpha anymore. Biting Stiles is totally back on the table.]

Your ego's the one that's going to be battered, Hale.

[Hey. Heeeeey... that... was totally true and kind of unfair. Okay. New plan. Stiles runs while he still can.]

Since you're so sure you'll be the one on top, maybe we should make things more interesting.

[Derek, no. His ass is already on the line, making a bet on something he'll ~~probably~~ definitely lose is a terrible idea. And no running, Stiles. The chase will just make it more fun.]

[... Curiosity piqued.]

Interesting how? You want to lose money too?

[Fight or flight, Derek. Stiles was a flighter. There was going to be a chase. And that part he would lose.]

I'm not going to take your money, Stiles.

[Derek might not talk, but he listens, and he knows cash is tight around the Stilinski home.

And if Stiles runs, he won't get to beat Derek's ass like he bragged about.]

You mean give me your money. So what do you want to do to make it interesting?

[Shh. No one talks about financial problems. They don't exist. They will go away. >>

He'll beat his ass, then spew hormones everywhere, then run. How's that?]

I'm not going to risk taking your money, Stiles.

[Though, he'd probably just give him the cash if he asked for it. It's not like he's doing much with it anyway, until he buys his next soccer mom car.]

You're so interested in doing this guy talk thing. If you win, I'll answer any questions you want to ask.

[So he's going to spew his hormones all over Derek's ass and then just leave? Way to make a guy feel cheap.]

[He'd spew his hormones and incite a chase. Unknowingly. Without knowing. >>]

Any question? Like... any question? All of them?

[This was intriguing.]

And what happens if I lose. Which won't happen.

[By which he means totally knowing...]

Any question. I won't even get mad at you when you ask something incredibly inappropriate.

[He might, but he won't take it out on Stiles for once, probably.

Anyway, he just shrugs.]

I don't really care. You pick something.

... I don't have anything that you want.

[Or did he...?]

[He might...]

Just pick something.

[They both know Derek's ass is the one getting beaten by the end of this anyway.]

Uh... you can... ask me... anything?

[Yeah. Right. So fair. Because Stiles' life was so interesting.]

Because you're full of secrets, right?

[Okay, maybe not really.]

You're on, Stiles.

You have no idea.

[What was he getting himself into?]

Okay. Bring it on. I'll even let you pick the game.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject