All I mean is that maybe when he's a bit older, and can express things. He will.

I spent a long time missing my parents, wishing to see them again. I think that's a fairly universal feeling.

You'll be able to have that conversation when that time comes, I think. And then a more advanced version when he's old enough to understand nuance.

And maybe he'll get to see all the good things you do, on tv, and see that side of you that I do.

You probably have to trust that she'll be... fair. And looking out for the best for your son, by not hurting him with whatever resentment she holds against you. I'm sure with you gone now, she's probably less heated in those feelings towards you. Than when you were still together.

I think you can be the father you want to be, still. Just can't force or rush the rebuilding process.

We can't really control what other people do or how they feel, no. But I'm sure you were a decent husband, before everything... you know. Went however they went.

And hopefully he can come visit the tower sometime. I know it must be tough across states and all.

That's not how I meant it.

No? Just the travel distance or being there?

... it wasn't about the quality of your ability. Just that you no longer fulfill that role. In her life. [you're not a bad husband, john, you're not a husband at all.]

I've never had to balance work with my personal life. [because she didn't really have one.] But I can't imagine it's easy. Being two different people. But like you so wisely said... [light nudge.] just keep working at it.

... honestly, you haven't done anything nearly as horrible as Alexei, or Bob's shitty excuse of a father. Nothing that you can't make up for going forward.

No, but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself either. Wanting to do better is important, but don't get trapped up in the idea that you were bad.

If my parents made mistakes with me when I was young, I don't even really remember them at all. All I remember was that they were there and that they loved me.

It doesn't. My father was distracted with his work too, after his humiliating dismissal from SHIELD. Got caught up in trying to restore his reputation with his research. ... It didn't end well, of course. But. Didn't make him less of a father. [ava he literally blew up your family...]

No. But it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

It's not really about what he chose to distract himself with, so much as that struggle of failure driving his attention. Sometimes we had dinners late at the lab, and I used to think it was fun to go visit my dad at work, see all his cool experiments. I didn't realize until I was much older that... he could've been home instead.

Right now isn't forever, John. It's going to suck until then.

Sometimes we're so caught up we don't realize how we're affecting the people around us until it's too late. Until the people we love are the ones we're hurting.

It will, because you'll get better at handling it.

No. But that's the stupid thing about depression.

You will. You'll have so many chances to make it up, and keep making it up.

Maybe with the baby, she only really could- [a helpless shrug.]