hemlocksock (
hemlocksock) wrote in
bakerstreet2025-05-23 04:34 pm
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I don't want to be in love, I don't want to be in love

EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Be for real. Be so for real right now. We won't judge.
how to play
I. Answer the question IC-ly in your top level.
II. Has your character ever been in love before? Yes, no, maybe so? Give us all the details.
III. Repliers will
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[ Catbug jumps into a little purple portal, swirling with black. There's a flash and he returns through another purple portal. He's holding a bowling bag. ]
Oops, that's not it!
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[ Bill thinks about it. Catbug's so eager to assist, it's hard not to want to find a way he can. ] I bet it'd glow a different colour under a blacklight!
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I think I'll need batteries...
[ Sure, Bill is somewhat GODLIKE but batteries are hard to come by! The mallet doesn't need batteries, it's just there to be Chekov's gun?]
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Alright, alright, let's get serious about Mission Formal Neckwear, shall we? If you've got weaponry, we're set to party. There might be a crystal lifeform in there, [ A backward thumbjab toward the main 'storage area' of this dimension, where there are sure to be batteries, lightbulbs, the napkin of turin, and an entire pristine collection of Slammer Jammer 90s pogs, mint in pack. ] Exponentially multiplying itself all over my stuff. So if you gotta, you should hit it with the mallet.
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One day, Catbug will be in charge, though. One day. Until then, he goes to actually charge in the direction of that thumbjab, mallet held above his head. Or not, since his arms aren't very long. Don't think about it too much.]
DON'T YOU TOUCH MY POGS CRYSTAL LIFEFORMS!
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...Huh. [ This kid's worth an entire cadre of henchmaniacs. ...Says more about the henchmaniacs, actually. But still. ] Guess I better back him up, huh. [ Bill draws back the 'sleeve' of his arm, revealing just bone and no muscle underneath it, cartoony as hell, and then floats on after Catbug mildly. ] You're doing great!
[ The crystal lifeforms initially circle the wagons around the batteries and pogs, but after a few persuasive thwacks, ebb backwards to cover a bookcase that serves as a wall in the nebulous herespace, flickering all sorts of colors in disco irritation. ] That's fine, I don't do a whole lot of reading in here.
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That's not some sort of... lit...litter... literary device, is it?
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I hope not. Can't stand sledgehammer narrative where it's obvious what the writer wants, when what he needs is to decant his big feelings somewhere private.
[ Bill hands down a fistful of batteries. ] Here, can you see if any of these fit?
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I feel like Fox Mulder!
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That hollering from the light switching makes Bill crack up helplessly for several seconds, it's great. Five stars. ]
Great! I feel like... [ Bill thinks back. ] Cigarette Smoking Man? Did that guy not have a name? Wow. That show got weird.
Alright, Special Agent Mulder, let's see if we can find this tie-needle in the carpet haystack. The last thing we want to do is resort to having to clean up.
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Oh no, I don't do cleaning anymore.
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Not since the Incident?
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Like a podcast but everyone HAS to listen?
[Catbug gasps softly. He whispers, but he has a THOUSAND YARD STARE]
Don't bring up the noodle incident again! Ahhh!
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Yeah! The people who don't pay enough attention think it's real, like stage magic.
[ Bill ruffles Catbug's head between his ears. ] Alright, Nugget. We mostly got the stains out though. Maybe we should burn that rug.
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[ Catbug squints his eyes when he smiles wide at the gesture. ] We got plenty more rugs where that came from!
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[ He's a good little creature, Bill's exceedingly fond. ] Yeah we do. Oh, hey, speaking of rugs. I got this neat trick I can do where I can look through things that look like me? And rugs are one of the best things to do that with. Nobody really looks at what a rug looks like, it just blends into the background, you know?
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[ This time, his eyes narrow. Something nefarious is afoot. ]
Do you see ... nanites?
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Wait, what? No? Should I be seeing them?
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Mostly I call it magic. [ Bill offers: ] Imagine if the whole universe was really just one thing. A blob. You can pick out bits of it, but they can't be separated for real! Blobjectivism. Division is an illusion, a hologram you imagine, to make sense of things. Really there's no time, no space, no people, no stars, no light or dark.
I found out that I was really good at being birch trees, for example. I can treat them like eyes, because they look like my eye, and I can see through them. Tuning in to the Blob.
It's okay if you don't get it, it's hard to explain. You kinda have to feel it.