bakerstreet | straight outta prison

Where are you? Why is your bed so hard? Why is someone peeing right by your head?
Oh, right. Because you got pinched last night. Welcome to the slammer, baby. It looks like you've...

WOKE UP IN JAIL!

• Post with your character name/fandom/options preferences.
• Use RNG to pick your possible scenario - or just go with what you'd like most.
• Reply to other people's tags. Use RNG or decide what your part in the whole kerfuffle is.
• Enjoy the confusion.

Reason(s) you're in jail:

1. Indecent Exposure
Nobody wanted to watch you strut around with everything hanging out, and someone called you on it. Hope they gave you a jumpsuit.

2. Drunk and disorderly conduct
"Wassat, occifer? No... It's not that I'm drunk. I'm good! I'm unner the legal limit. Wooo!" No, no you're not. You're way over. Sleep it off, buddy.

3. Vandalism
Oh, you naughty thing. You got busted stealing that 'Chickens X-ing' sign. Or was it drawing boobs on the drive-thru clown? Either way, tsk tsk.

4. B&E
Apparently your friend didn't think you kicking in his window to sneak in and leave him a 'present' was as good of an idea as you thought it was. Well, no love for HIM. *hmph*

5. Grand Theft Auto
The car was BEGGING to go for a ride. It called to you with its sireny car-call. And you just had to answer. If it hadn't been for the damn spike belt...

6. Kidnapping
Trust me, there are better ways to get money to pay for your Bieber concert tickets.

7. Murder
Talk about being caught red handed. You got caught red armed. And faced. And front. You're messy.

8. Any/all of the above
Ooooh... You've been REALLY naughty, haven't you? Actually, you kind of scare me.

Relationship of the person tagging:

1. Cohort in Crime.
2. Person coming to bail you out. (or not)
3. Jailer/Warden.
4. Stranger/Cellmate.
5. Choose your own!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Am down for AUs too just LMK. Prefs are also listed there.

All of these are possible depending on the AU. 2 & 3 most likely with a younger / Academy AU Jim.

Is MOST likely to be in jail for getting into a Fight (assault) but that's any AU and age.]

[The one who did the arresting, more than likely.]

[ It isn't the first time Felix has woken up in a drunk tank and it certainly won't be the last, but it's the first in a while where - to someone who has a thing for older men anyway - he's woken up to someone so attractive. Hello~ ]

Uhhhh, is this where I deny whatever it was I'm in here for?

[The cop looks up from his paperwork he'd been perusing around a mug of coffee and snorts softly.]

Can't really argue with a BAC, can ya kid?

Oh ye of little faith, I can argue with anything.

[ ... his enhanced healing usually cleans it up faster than the average bear, which is one of the reasons why he's so reckless with himself. ~~Along with the general lack of caring.~~ He hauls himself up to lean against the bars, though he doesn't look particularly sober right now. That's just his neutral setting. ]

The mouthy sort. Noted.

[Another sip of coffee.]

You might wanna work on behaving rather than arguin'. They've got leave to hold you for another sixty hours or so before anyone Has t'let you outta the drunk tank.

My mouth is good for a lot of things.

[ Yeah, he's shooting his shot, here. ]

Sixty hours though? That's harsh.

^{(open to all prompts)}

[OTA! Can AU him into a more modern setting if necessary.]

[assumed cr a-ok, up to date.]

[ One of the things about being told when you're a kid that you're probably going to be able to fly is that you just. Never consider learning how to drive. And you get a bus pass, or put up with the indignity of having your mom drive you everywhere, because one day it will not matter anymore.

And after a couple of years of it mattering, like, a lot, one day it actually does stop mattering. And it's awesome, except for the nagging sensation every now and then that you missed out on something, like, essential, and,

And at first Mark does not know where he is, blearily cracking his eyes open on what feels like a cold and hard surface, with a pounding headache because it turns out he is not, in fact, immune to concussions. He slowly sits up with a groan, gingerly bringing a hand up to see if it still hurts when he touches his head and yes, it does.

The pain is also grounding, though. Opening his eyes further he sees Rex, which is good! He's not alone. Opening his eyes all the way to see that they're in a jail cell and that's when he sits bolt upright, panic taking over his features.

Turning to Rex, wide-eyed and trying (and probably failing) to keep his voice at a whisper, ] What were we doing??

[ How did they end up here, they're superheroes, this is the opposite of where they're supposed to be, ]

[Rex, who has also suffered minor injuries, is sprawled over the bench groaning like they just carried his body in from the front lines. He's never had an appropriate response to anything, why start now?

He rolls lazily onto his side so he can fix a hard stare on Mark. He looks madder than he really is.]

Last I remember? I asked if you could drive and you said, and I quote-- How hard could it be? Then you pumped your stupid, super-lead foot on the gas and we went flying.

[He cants his head as he thinks about why they did it-- oh..]

It was a really cool car, though. Really cool, before you fucking crushed it into a cube.

[ In addition to the physical pain, that groaning hurts on like, an emotional level. As does the hard stare, and Mark braces himself for what's going to come out of Rex's mouth.

Winces as it starts to come back to him. Hunches down on himself, like if he makes himself smaller it'll erase everything that happened the night before, and he won't be here anymore. ]

I— They make driving look really easy... [ His voice trails off into nothing, because that's apparently the best he can do for an excuse, and he knows it sucks. This sucks. He might suck right now? ] I didn't know the pedals would be so sensitive.

[ And he regrets that as soon as he says it, because, super-lead foot. What was he expecting, of course he has to mitigate himself constantly. Why would it be any different for a car.

A really cool car. Which probably means a really expensive car. Which probably means he's screwed, but, more importantly — ]

Are you okay? [ A beat as he subconsciously tries to go for the puppy dog eyes look, like a self-defence mechanism. Make Rex less mad at him, even if he totally deserves it. ] I mean if the car became a... cube...

[ Because that would mean. A lot of damage, ]

( i mean, )

[Wouldn't be the first time he's wound up in jail for trespassing, selling fake viagra, selling real psychedelics, selling expired medicine without a license, suspicion of murder, jay walking, tripping a police officer, loitering.

...You know, the usual.]

[At least he's got a roommate this time...]

[Ahhhhhhh....

Shit.]

Edited 2025-05-06 06:08 (UTC)

((Let's be real, if he's here, he wanted to be.))

[Trying to convince anyone who will listen that it's all a terrible mistake. There are tears. It's kind of embarrassing really...]

[it's far from the first time and probably Hans' fault :| ]

straight outta prison

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