pippilongsockings ([personal profile] pippilongsockings) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2025-01-01 10:05 am
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reversatile



reverse nsfw questions


RULES
○ Your character asks an NSFW question. NO BLANK TOP-LEVELS.
○ They get NSFW answers. Presumably.


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slavish: (i watched you from the sky)

[personal profile] slavish 2025-01-02 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
Sex while vacuuming! Without faltering, or doing a bad job!

[Just the thought of doing a bad job at vacuuming makes him want to hurl, tbh.]
changeyourself: (Oooh.)

[personal profile] changeyourself 2025-01-02 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
…gonna be honest with you, pal. That sounds very possible. That actually sounds easy, in fact.

slavish: (i've stayed the same too)

[personal profile] slavish 2025-01-02 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Haaaaaaaaaaaaa?!

[Iori's flabbers? Gasted. He's trying to imagine it going down well at all, and it really just seems like an annoyance! Like a way to miss spots! Like trying to move around and have sex at the same time would be worse than food stuck in one's teeth!]

Explain! Explain now! It sounds impossible! Especially if you were using a cordless vacuum! You'd just waste battery!
changeyourself: (So it's 1+1?)

[personal profile] changeyourself 2025-01-02 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's like a see-saw. As Iori shoots up in energy, Yamada crashes down. Radiating calm and logic, he says all the following nonsense in a deadpan tone. ]

Because the posture you use when you're vacuuming is-

[ Yamada takes up his posture, which involves leaning forward slightly, especially mid-step. This happens to force the butt out. ]

The motion is this-

[ Back and forth, back and forth, Yamada mimes it. Doing the full arms and hips and legs, taking a few steps. ]

So it's basically the same as sex already, just upright. And since you have two people, you've got four eyes to look for the missed spots.
slavish: (i watched you from the sky)

[personal profile] slavish 2025-01-03 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
[It's hard to argue against that demonstration; that is an ergonomic way to do it, especially shifting from side to side. But that doesn't mean that Iori looks mollified whatsoever. Quite the opposite. He's crossed his arms by the end of it, mouth tucked into a firm little frown and eyes narrowed.]

Ah, I see, I see. So you're the sort who thinks that having sex means that you can shirk your duties! Let someone else share that burden with you, huh? Then we're at an impasse! As the dog of the people, I can't abide by that sort of half-hearted cleaning! Besides, it'd mean just making more--

[wait a second]
slavish: (grilled and eaten)

[personal profile] slavish 2025-01-03 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
--more mess!

[And just like that, he's all smiles, cheeks flush with excitement.] You're a thoughtful guy, actually! Sorry, sorry! If I can make it up to you, you just say the word, alright? I'll shine your shoes, wash your hair, shave that stubble, give you one of my organs at the drop of a hat!
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